For the record.

No, I'm not related to Shawn Johnson.  :)

Build me up. Buttercup, baby.

Tonight, Joshua Radin's lyrics are making me melt.  They make me think of so many profound and touching things in my life.  Joshua, you tug at my heartstrings.  You make me feel deep down in my soul the love I have for my sweet hubby.  Even when he's not so lovely, he's lovely.  He's real.  The poor man... Monday morning, heading out the door to DC, not a thing could go right.  Toilets clogging, printers not printing, dog poo stepping, emails overflowing, stock market crashing, dry cleaner rushing, wire transfers racing, Garmin forgetting, wifey sleeping, in-laws chatting.  He cracked.  My rock.  My shoulder to weep on.  The strong arms that hold me.  The one who is always strong... inspirationally strong.  Cracked.

Yesterday, I was downright pissed at his antics... But, today I'm thankful I can be there for him.  When life gets in the way, we have each other to pick up the slack.  Baby, when the going gets tough, the wifey gets a supporting.  Isn't that what marriage is all about?

Now, about that island in the sun, lovey... can we go now?  Pretty please, with sugar on top and a cherry?

xoxo,

KTD

One word and one word only.

Thanks to Newlywedisms by Bryn... I couldn't resist playing along... 

Your hair? blunette
Your mother? nurturing
Your father? inspiring
Your favorite thing? hubby
Your dream last night? odd
Your dream/goal? fulfillment
Your favorite drink? frozen bear
The room you're in? living room
Your ex? denver
Your hobby? golf
Your fear? loss
Where do you want to be in 6 years? content
Where were you last night? home
What you're not? loud
Muffins? poppyseed
One of your wish list items? wii-fit
Time? more
Where you grew up? Minnesota
The last thing you did? dinner
Favorite weather? sunshine
What are you wearing? dress
Your favorite book? p.s. i love you
Your TV? large
Your pet? none
Your computer? apple
Your mood? lonely
Missing someone? absolutely
Your car? filthy
Something you're not wearing? rings
Favorite store? many
Love someone? deeply
Your favorite color/shade? pink
Last thing you ate? panera
Your life? just right
Your friends? treasured
What are you thinking right now? vacation
What are you doing at this moment? relaxing
Your summer: fast
Your relationship status: married
What do you do when you can't sleep? read
When is the last time you laughed? dinner
Last time you cried? recently

Your turn.

xoxo, KTD

Hot, cold, hot cold...

So, I'm a tad bit confused.  One day I'm stocking up on sweaters and down coats and the next, I'm ripping out the tank tops and flip flops again.  Winter could be a rather interesting transition for us this year anyways, but I seem to have forgotten how unpredictable Colorado weather is!  (It snowed in August, don't forget!)  It was a balmy 50 degrees last night and I actually dug into my stash of sweaters and threw on a light jacket when I went out.  Such a silly question, but are you supposed to take off your coat while shopping and carry it around?  I was ROASTING!  How can I be from Minnesota, lived in Colorado for four years and completely forgotten how to cope with seasons.  Darn you San Diego!  Apparently you CAN take the Minnesota out of THIS girl!

On another note, the change in seasons has spawned a lovely rejuvenation of my somewhat seasonless closet!  Look at these cute, warm frocks I picked up recently (as I was repeating in my head, "I will not freeze this winter, I will not freeze this winter")... 

             

     

    Juicy Couture (in Chocolate)          Juicy Couture (in Black)            

 

    Via Spigia (in Winter White)

Meanwhile it's 82 degrees out today and it's back to my trusty flip flops.  

I'm happy.

xoxo,

KTD

True story.

Since we moved back to Colorado, we've been going no less than 1.2 million miles a minute. Between work, fun and tee-times we sadly haven't left ourselves with much time to take care of some of the most basic things in life... COOK and CLEAN (Translation: Find maids). That's right folks, it's been take-out or out to eat EVERY night since May 24th. Gross.  We've scoped out some GREAT Colorado restaurants, tasted some decadent desserts and managed to not gain 467 pounds a piece, but still.  Gross.

Well, that all changed this week. We FINALLY found maids in the area (thank heavens. I'm really just bad at cleaning and well Ryan would rather be golfing) AND I actually cooked dinner this week. Not once, but TWICE! AND, get this... I started my cooking-spree on the same night I had a small (hopefully benign) cyst removed and got 3, count 'em THREE stitches! I'm a self-proclaimed wimp... well, and husband-proclaimed wimp also, but that's another post. 

So, the first night of said cooking-spree I made yummy Cheddar and Asparagus Stuffed Chicken and the second night I completely made up my own recipe, we'll call it Pesto Chicken Goodness. It was scrumptious. I was proud.  

I was really excited about cooking extravaganza night #2, because I had personally concocted the recipe AND because I was on a roll of cooking beautiful meals out of our naked pantry. BUT, my sweet, typically unsuspecting husband was suspicious. Just when I was serving up this pretty plated dinner... he gives me this look that shouts, "WHAT DID YOU DO WRONG, WHAT DO YOU WANT, WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS WRONG HERE and HOW MUCH IS IT GOING TO COST?" I gave him a similar look, but mine said, "DON'T YOU DARE CRITICIZE MY COOKING OR IT'S MAC & CHEESE FOR YOU, MISTER." So..... as it turns out, my dear unsuspecting husband thinks there is something behind this cooking spree.  Like I was buttering him up for something.  (Psssshhh, as if I would EVER do that!)  

Truth: There was nothing.  Nothing at all.

Moral of the story: Don't cook for 3 months. Cook two nights in a row and you won't have to do it again for another 3 months. :)

Love to all,

KTD

And now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

So this past month has been cringe-worthy to say the least. Loss is an interesting process that I realized I knew not much about in my adult life.  I've seen friends lose grandparents, my own husband even lost his grandfather last year.  I just didn't know how much it hurts.  How unbelievable it is.  How unreal it feels.  How it hits you at funny moments.  Despite the UNEXPECTED and UNPREPARED loss of my dear Grandmother... life must go on. Even if I'm not really ready for it to. Life IS going on... and I must go with it. What I've learned:

1. You are NEVER, EVER, EVER really ready to lose someone you love
2. You carry the memories in your heart forever (Ooooh how wonderful, but dearly missed are all the memories)
3. I'm not ALWAYS Pollyanna- but there are better, more positive ways to look at loss than others
4. My family is amazing. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy thinking about how we all came together to support one another during such a difficult time. Together our strength is uplifting. We are fortunate.
5. Last, my Hubby is a trooper. Me and my emotions can sometimes come out a little crooked and somewhat sideways. He loves me unconditionally and nurtures my soul. I'm blessed.

So... life is a movin'. My "To Do" List is no longer getting longer, but instead is getting shorter. I've been completely tardy in acknowledging a few Birthdays, Anniversaries, and Thank You's. Please forgive me. Thankfully I've rejoined the ranks of the world again and am no longer dwelling, but instead looking forward to seeing my sweet Mere again someday.

Peace and Love.
KTD

Twisted. Turned. Upside Down.

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle.  I just wish he wouldn't trust me so much"  -Mother Theresa

Oh how right Momma Theresa was.  Goodbye Pollyanna (Thanks Mom), and hello reality.  I'm still stewing over the events of the past couple of weeks.  I'll start by filling you in on what happened one Saturday morning... more later.

MONDAY, JULY 28, 2008 10:49 PM, PDT
I made the decision to go home from Denver on Saturday morning as my Grandmother was being moved into the Hospice Unit at Methodist Hospital. I was back in Minnesota by Saturday night. I feel such relief that I got to see Mere again, yet saddened that I don't know when I'll see her again. I headed straight to the hospital to be with her. It was very hard to see her as she was so completely different from the last time I saw her, but she had just moved to the floors and the move was pretty difficult for her. She needed rest. Despite everything, she recognized me right away as she does all "the grands." As hard as this process is for us all... I feel so blessed to have been given so much in the short 24 hours that I was there. As everyone has said, she is talking non-stop... talking so fast it's often hard to make out the words. But, when you do realize what she is saying, she makes perfect sense. It is just so neat that we are able to share in these moments together and to squeeze it all in. I feel so blessed that even during this time, Mere's loving, kind and positive spirit is so extremely evident.
When Uncle Gary came in, she said fairly clearly, "Hi Gary." She even said something about coke and lemonade... I think she was still trying to be the perfect hostess! Papa is so sweet to her... when he came in yesterday, he said, "You look so beautiful Granny." Her reply, "I thought you'd never notice!" Oh Mere, you are beautiful in every way... Your spirit, your love, your faith and yes, even your nails are polished in perfect Pink. ;) You are the sweetest, kindest most honorable person I know. We are ALL so lucky... we have learned so much about loving, living and life from you.
One of the most amazing things to see this weekend was no matter who it was or how many times she saw you in a day, Mere's face would light up when she saw you come in the room and she would greet everyone by name. Mere is giving us all that she has right now... so much strength and love.
My time with Mere was soft and sweet, but I left with a heavy heart not knowing when and how quickly this would all progress. I got to spend a few minutes alone with her before I left. I told her how much I love her... she played with my hair, held my face in her hands and told me "Oh Katie, I love you more and more each day." I told her I had to go home now and that I would see her soon. She said, "You promise?" Of course Mere, your spirit is strong and we'll be together forever in my heart. xo, Kate

What I've learned so far...

So I'm fairly new to this blogging thing, but reading back on what I've written so far I realized something... it's disgustingly cheerful and upbeat.  While I admit, this year has been super exciting and overall pretty great, it certainly hasn't been all daffodils and butterflies.  What I do know however is that I've gotten pretty good at not letting the going get rough when the going gets tough.  By no means does this mean that there aren't sheer moments of sadness, frustration, discouragement and insecurity.  I'm twenty-seven years old, newly married, with a big complicated family, friends, a career and independence.  Along with all of those wonderful things does not come complete jubilance and bliss 24/7.  You take the good, fabulous and wonderful, along with the not so good, grim and delicate.  By leaving out some of the not so bright moments in my life, am I cheating myself and painting a picture that is rosier than reality?  Is the purpose of blogging to expose it all?  Maybe not.

Here is where I'm at.  Happiness is a choice.  Life will always present you with challenges, but you hold your own destiny and choose how these challenges unwrap your life.  See, life isn't made of sunshine every day.  Instead it is our ability to sort through the gray to find the light.  Yes there are tears and yes there are struggles.  I choose happiness.  I hope you'll join me down this path.  Love to all, KTD

Magic.

If only my blog would write itself when I'm lying in bed with amazing thoughts running through my head trying to go to sleep.  It would be brilliant.  Seriously.

So, I realized I'm not a very good blogger.  Well, not a very consistent blogger.  This Sunday officially marks one month since the day we left the big blue (COLD!) Pacific Ocean and headed eastward for the first time in my life, landing once again in the beautiful and amazing state of Colorado.  Okay, I'll admit the Rockies were a tad bit cold also.... we did see snow.  Lots of snow.  But, we're convinced we won't have to see anymore of that until later this year.  Much later this year.  We just aren't ready for that yet.  Yes, I'm from Minnesota... but San Diego turned me into a complete nancy pants when it comes to weather.  Leanna, I now know why you wore long underwear under your jeans to class in college.  That is no longer hysterical, but actually practical and completely sane.  

How easily this post diverted to my legitimate fear of winter and my inability to withstand temperatures outside of San Diego's moderate 65-75 degree days.  Everyday.  But for us, that consistency got boring.  We missed the dog days of summer (forget that I'm practically melting in Colorado's 90 degree heat).  We missed those brisk fall days where you actually enjoy putting on a sweater for the first time.  We missed those snowy days where your backyard turns into a winter wonderland.  And oh boy did we miss the rejuvenation of springtime when you are convinced that 50 degrees is completely flip flop worthy.  I've lived in flip flops for the past four years... B-O-R-I-N-G.

Moving on.  What I really wanted to write about today was how tired Colorado is making me.  Completely exausted.  Living in Colorado has been so great that I wake up every morning as if it's Christmas.  As if I'm 5 years old again and Mr. Clause has just flown away leaving me with dozens upon dozens of presents.  I can't sleep past 7 because I'm just so excited to get on with my day and we can't go to sleep before midnight because Santa is coming again in the morning.  Ugh.  It's tiring.  BUT SO FUN.  My favorite things in the whole wide world:  Friends, family, and golf (8 rounds in 4 weeks and I'm still not good.  Imagine that).  Take yesterday for example.  I woke up around 7.  Worked until noonish.  Spent the afternoon at the pool with girlfriends.  Golfed a quick 18 at 4.  Went out for dinner and drinks with Nicole and Brad (Love them!).  Hung at Brad and Nicole's.  Crashed into bed at 1ish.  Talk about packing it in... and such has been my life for the past month.  I'm in love.  Just also in need of a serious power nap because that's all I have time for.

The highlight so far was Fathers Day.  What I thought was going to be a day I got an ever so softly rejected invitation from my Dad to come join me for a day of Brunch and Father-Daughter Golf turned out to be one of the best Father's Days I can remember in a LONG time.  Actually... one of the only Father's Days in my adult life I got to actually spend it WITH him!  BRILLIANT, DAD!  My Dad surprised me and I think I'm still recovering from the shock of it.  I'm still not even sure that those three days even occurred yet.  If only I had pictures to prove it.  I've been going around surprising everyone else for the past several years and HE surprised ME!  We had soooooo much fun and you want to know the best part?  He's coming back in less than two weeks and he's even bringing my Mom.  I love my parents dearly.

Magic.  What I'll need to get all these brilliant blog posts stored in my head actually posted.  Stay tuned there is much more to come.  Love to all.  KTD

Embarking on a change.

As Ryan and I are set to begin our next adventure together... MOVING TO COLORADO!  I had the chance to take a trip down that precious memory lane and go through all my old photos, notes, cards and milions of little things that I've kept over the years.  It's a running joke that it's going to be the most amazing scrapbook ever... I just haven't gotten there yet.  Someday.   Anyways, I ran across this poem that I used to have on my mirror in college.  It's an oldie, but a goodie and I thought I'd share with you today.  I admit, it's filled with cliches, but it's also a nice reminder of how important it is to be PRESENT in life.  It's pretty fun... I would know.

And PS... I'm moving to Colorado this weekend!!!  :)  I can't wait.

Sometimes

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, they serve some sort of purpose, to teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become. 

You never know who these people may be - your roommate, neighbor, professor, long lost friend, lover or even a complete stranger who, when you lock eyes with them, you know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.

And sometimes things happen to you and at the time they may seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles, you would have never realized your potential, strength, will power or heart. 

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity - all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, if they be events, illnesses or relationships, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. Safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life and the successes and downfalls you experience - they are the ones who create who you are. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. Those lessons are the hardest and probably the most important ones.

If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart to. 

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes to things you would have never seen or felt without them.

Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again.

Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. 

Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you either. You can make of your life anything you wish. 

Create your own life and then go out and live it.