True story.

Since we moved back to Colorado, we've been going no less than 1.2 million miles a minute. Between work, fun and tee-times we sadly haven't left ourselves with much time to take care of some of the most basic things in life... COOK and CLEAN (Translation: Find maids). That's right folks, it's been take-out or out to eat EVERY night since May 24th. Gross.  We've scoped out some GREAT Colorado restaurants, tasted some decadent desserts and managed to not gain 467 pounds a piece, but still.  Gross.

Well, that all changed this week. We FINALLY found maids in the area (thank heavens. I'm really just bad at cleaning and well Ryan would rather be golfing) AND I actually cooked dinner this week. Not once, but TWICE! AND, get this... I started my cooking-spree on the same night I had a small (hopefully benign) cyst removed and got 3, count 'em THREE stitches! I'm a self-proclaimed wimp... well, and husband-proclaimed wimp also, but that's another post. 

So, the first night of said cooking-spree I made yummy Cheddar and Asparagus Stuffed Chicken and the second night I completely made up my own recipe, we'll call it Pesto Chicken Goodness. It was scrumptious. I was proud.  

I was really excited about cooking extravaganza night #2, because I had personally concocted the recipe AND because I was on a roll of cooking beautiful meals out of our naked pantry. BUT, my sweet, typically unsuspecting husband was suspicious. Just when I was serving up this pretty plated dinner... he gives me this look that shouts, "WHAT DID YOU DO WRONG, WHAT DO YOU WANT, WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS WRONG HERE and HOW MUCH IS IT GOING TO COST?" I gave him a similar look, but mine said, "DON'T YOU DARE CRITICIZE MY COOKING OR IT'S MAC & CHEESE FOR YOU, MISTER." So..... as it turns out, my dear unsuspecting husband thinks there is something behind this cooking spree.  Like I was buttering him up for something.  (Psssshhh, as if I would EVER do that!)  

Truth: There was nothing.  Nothing at all.

Moral of the story: Don't cook for 3 months. Cook two nights in a row and you won't have to do it again for another 3 months. :)

Love to all,

KTD

And now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

So this past month has been cringe-worthy to say the least. Loss is an interesting process that I realized I knew not much about in my adult life.  I've seen friends lose grandparents, my own husband even lost his grandfather last year.  I just didn't know how much it hurts.  How unbelievable it is.  How unreal it feels.  How it hits you at funny moments.  Despite the UNEXPECTED and UNPREPARED loss of my dear Grandmother... life must go on. Even if I'm not really ready for it to. Life IS going on... and I must go with it. What I've learned:

1. You are NEVER, EVER, EVER really ready to lose someone you love
2. You carry the memories in your heart forever (Ooooh how wonderful, but dearly missed are all the memories)
3. I'm not ALWAYS Pollyanna- but there are better, more positive ways to look at loss than others
4. My family is amazing. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy thinking about how we all came together to support one another during such a difficult time. Together our strength is uplifting. We are fortunate.
5. Last, my Hubby is a trooper. Me and my emotions can sometimes come out a little crooked and somewhat sideways. He loves me unconditionally and nurtures my soul. I'm blessed.

So... life is a movin'. My "To Do" List is no longer getting longer, but instead is getting shorter. I've been completely tardy in acknowledging a few Birthdays, Anniversaries, and Thank You's. Please forgive me. Thankfully I've rejoined the ranks of the world again and am no longer dwelling, but instead looking forward to seeing my sweet Mere again someday.

Peace and Love.
KTD

Twisted. Turned. Upside Down.

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle.  I just wish he wouldn't trust me so much"  -Mother Theresa

Oh how right Momma Theresa was.  Goodbye Pollyanna (Thanks Mom), and hello reality.  I'm still stewing over the events of the past couple of weeks.  I'll start by filling you in on what happened one Saturday morning... more later.

MONDAY, JULY 28, 2008 10:49 PM, PDT
I made the decision to go home from Denver on Saturday morning as my Grandmother was being moved into the Hospice Unit at Methodist Hospital. I was back in Minnesota by Saturday night. I feel such relief that I got to see Mere again, yet saddened that I don't know when I'll see her again. I headed straight to the hospital to be with her. It was very hard to see her as she was so completely different from the last time I saw her, but she had just moved to the floors and the move was pretty difficult for her. She needed rest. Despite everything, she recognized me right away as she does all "the grands." As hard as this process is for us all... I feel so blessed to have been given so much in the short 24 hours that I was there. As everyone has said, she is talking non-stop... talking so fast it's often hard to make out the words. But, when you do realize what she is saying, she makes perfect sense. It is just so neat that we are able to share in these moments together and to squeeze it all in. I feel so blessed that even during this time, Mere's loving, kind and positive spirit is so extremely evident.
When Uncle Gary came in, she said fairly clearly, "Hi Gary." She even said something about coke and lemonade... I think she was still trying to be the perfect hostess! Papa is so sweet to her... when he came in yesterday, he said, "You look so beautiful Granny." Her reply, "I thought you'd never notice!" Oh Mere, you are beautiful in every way... Your spirit, your love, your faith and yes, even your nails are polished in perfect Pink. ;) You are the sweetest, kindest most honorable person I know. We are ALL so lucky... we have learned so much about loving, living and life from you.
One of the most amazing things to see this weekend was no matter who it was or how many times she saw you in a day, Mere's face would light up when she saw you come in the room and she would greet everyone by name. Mere is giving us all that she has right now... so much strength and love.
My time with Mere was soft and sweet, but I left with a heavy heart not knowing when and how quickly this would all progress. I got to spend a few minutes alone with her before I left. I told her how much I love her... she played with my hair, held my face in her hands and told me "Oh Katie, I love you more and more each day." I told her I had to go home now and that I would see her soon. She said, "You promise?" Of course Mere, your spirit is strong and we'll be together forever in my heart. xo, Kate

What I've learned so far...

So I'm fairly new to this blogging thing, but reading back on what I've written so far I realized something... it's disgustingly cheerful and upbeat.  While I admit, this year has been super exciting and overall pretty great, it certainly hasn't been all daffodils and butterflies.  What I do know however is that I've gotten pretty good at not letting the going get rough when the going gets tough.  By no means does this mean that there aren't sheer moments of sadness, frustration, discouragement and insecurity.  I'm twenty-seven years old, newly married, with a big complicated family, friends, a career and independence.  Along with all of those wonderful things does not come complete jubilance and bliss 24/7.  You take the good, fabulous and wonderful, along with the not so good, grim and delicate.  By leaving out some of the not so bright moments in my life, am I cheating myself and painting a picture that is rosier than reality?  Is the purpose of blogging to expose it all?  Maybe not.

Here is where I'm at.  Happiness is a choice.  Life will always present you with challenges, but you hold your own destiny and choose how these challenges unwrap your life.  See, life isn't made of sunshine every day.  Instead it is our ability to sort through the gray to find the light.  Yes there are tears and yes there are struggles.  I choose happiness.  I hope you'll join me down this path.  Love to all, KTD

Magic.

If only my blog would write itself when I'm lying in bed with amazing thoughts running through my head trying to go to sleep.  It would be brilliant.  Seriously.

So, I realized I'm not a very good blogger.  Well, not a very consistent blogger.  This Sunday officially marks one month since the day we left the big blue (COLD!) Pacific Ocean and headed eastward for the first time in my life, landing once again in the beautiful and amazing state of Colorado.  Okay, I'll admit the Rockies were a tad bit cold also.... we did see snow.  Lots of snow.  But, we're convinced we won't have to see anymore of that until later this year.  Much later this year.  We just aren't ready for that yet.  Yes, I'm from Minnesota... but San Diego turned me into a complete nancy pants when it comes to weather.  Leanna, I now know why you wore long underwear under your jeans to class in college.  That is no longer hysterical, but actually practical and completely sane.  

How easily this post diverted to my legitimate fear of winter and my inability to withstand temperatures outside of San Diego's moderate 65-75 degree days.  Everyday.  But for us, that consistency got boring.  We missed the dog days of summer (forget that I'm practically melting in Colorado's 90 degree heat).  We missed those brisk fall days where you actually enjoy putting on a sweater for the first time.  We missed those snowy days where your backyard turns into a winter wonderland.  And oh boy did we miss the rejuvenation of springtime when you are convinced that 50 degrees is completely flip flop worthy.  I've lived in flip flops for the past four years... B-O-R-I-N-G.

Moving on.  What I really wanted to write about today was how tired Colorado is making me.  Completely exausted.  Living in Colorado has been so great that I wake up every morning as if it's Christmas.  As if I'm 5 years old again and Mr. Clause has just flown away leaving me with dozens upon dozens of presents.  I can't sleep past 7 because I'm just so excited to get on with my day and we can't go to sleep before midnight because Santa is coming again in the morning.  Ugh.  It's tiring.  BUT SO FUN.  My favorite things in the whole wide world:  Friends, family, and golf (8 rounds in 4 weeks and I'm still not good.  Imagine that).  Take yesterday for example.  I woke up around 7.  Worked until noonish.  Spent the afternoon at the pool with girlfriends.  Golfed a quick 18 at 4.  Went out for dinner and drinks with Nicole and Brad (Love them!).  Hung at Brad and Nicole's.  Crashed into bed at 1ish.  Talk about packing it in... and such has been my life for the past month.  I'm in love.  Just also in need of a serious power nap because that's all I have time for.

The highlight so far was Fathers Day.  What I thought was going to be a day I got an ever so softly rejected invitation from my Dad to come join me for a day of Brunch and Father-Daughter Golf turned out to be one of the best Father's Days I can remember in a LONG time.  Actually... one of the only Father's Days in my adult life I got to actually spend it WITH him!  BRILLIANT, DAD!  My Dad surprised me and I think I'm still recovering from the shock of it.  I'm still not even sure that those three days even occurred yet.  If only I had pictures to prove it.  I've been going around surprising everyone else for the past several years and HE surprised ME!  We had soooooo much fun and you want to know the best part?  He's coming back in less than two weeks and he's even bringing my Mom.  I love my parents dearly.

Magic.  What I'll need to get all these brilliant blog posts stored in my head actually posted.  Stay tuned there is much more to come.  Love to all.  KTD

Embarking on a change.

As Ryan and I are set to begin our next adventure together... MOVING TO COLORADO!  I had the chance to take a trip down that precious memory lane and go through all my old photos, notes, cards and milions of little things that I've kept over the years.  It's a running joke that it's going to be the most amazing scrapbook ever... I just haven't gotten there yet.  Someday.   Anyways, I ran across this poem that I used to have on my mirror in college.  It's an oldie, but a goodie and I thought I'd share with you today.  I admit, it's filled with cliches, but it's also a nice reminder of how important it is to be PRESENT in life.  It's pretty fun... I would know.

And PS... I'm moving to Colorado this weekend!!!  :)  I can't wait.

Sometimes

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, they serve some sort of purpose, to teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become. 

You never know who these people may be - your roommate, neighbor, professor, long lost friend, lover or even a complete stranger who, when you lock eyes with them, you know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.

And sometimes things happen to you and at the time they may seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles, you would have never realized your potential, strength, will power or heart. 

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity - all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, if they be events, illnesses or relationships, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. Safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet who affect your life and the successes and downfalls you experience - they are the ones who create who you are. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. Those lessons are the hardest and probably the most important ones.

If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart to. 

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes to things you would have never seen or felt without them.

Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again.

Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. 

Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you either. You can make of your life anything you wish. 

Create your own life and then go out and live it.

5 things i'm thankful for today...

1.  fun times had with friends at the padres game yesterday.

2.  the beautiful san diego weather we've been blessed with this weekend.

3.  ryan and i got to spend 366 days as newlyweds.  thank you leap year.  today is like a bonus day!

4.  we've almost made it through year 1.  most people say it can be the toughest times.  we beg to differ, i think it was our easiest.  hopefully that's a sign of things to come.

5.  thanks to our wedding anniversary... it's a three day weekend!  can't wait for tomorrow's celebration.  : )

6.  and today there are 6.  a big, huge, whopping thank you to the brave firefighters of san diego for putting out the wildfire in our backyard today.  thank you.  thank you.  thank you.

KTD

Wordless Wednesday.

I'm jumping on a bit of a bandwagon here.  But hey, sometimes there just aren't words.  More to  come!  KTD

Pure bliss.

You know when you hear a song that just makes you happy to be alive?  You know that no matter what your mood, if you turn it on, you'll just want to dance and sing your lungs out?  Well, I just found one of those rare beauties.  Jason Mraz' new song, "I'm Yours."  Mild obsession.  It's the cutest, happiest, put a spring in your step, little ditty I've heard in a while.  The flowers are blooming all over San Diego.  The leaves are coming back.  And the grass is turning this bright shade of key lime green.  This song makes me want to put on a sundress and some new shades and go frolic in the sunshine.  Goodbye winter... bring on the spring time!  Enjoy.  KTD

Politics, Shmolitics.

I'm not really one to speak out on political issues because quite honestly, it really isn't what defines us or me.  I respect differing opinions and feel deep in my heart of hearts that everyone is entitled to have their own opinion for better or for worse.  This is America after all.  So, in keeping with the cheery spring season, I'll keep this one short.  I've become increasingly irritated over the state of the 2008 presidential election.  It doesn't matter if you are Republican or Democrat or somewhere in between.  I'm all for girl power, a raceless country, blah, blah, blah.  Lets look at the issues and policies at hand, the state of our country (hello, looming recession), each candidates political experience and really figure out who is the best candidate for this important job.  Let's stop being racist and sexist, because after all if you are voting for someone based solely on those qualities, isn't that what you are?  Please think long and hard about your decision this year and make the best choice for the future of this prosperous country.  Oh and have some pride in the good old U S of A.  :)  That's all I ask.  Enjoy the sunshine!  KTD